You Are More Loved Than You Can Imagine

    Yet again, I leave John Piper fascinated with Jesus Christ...

Good Quotes

     “Let us not glide through this world and then slip quietly into heaven, without having blown the trumpet loud and long for our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Let us see to it that the devil will hold a thanksgiving service in hell, when he gets the news of our departure from the field of battle.”

      “We are frittering away our time and money in a multiplicity of conventions, conferences, and retreats, when the real need is to go straight and full steam into battle, with the signal for 'close action' flying.”

      “God's real people have always been called fanatics.”
                                                          -C. T. Studd

Peace

    This week began with the three most stressful days of my life. Without going into details, those three days probably crippled me mentally and emotionally more than anything I've ever experienced. Until Thursday, I had eaten precisely two meals this week and hadn't fallen asleep before two in the morning. Most of the day I spent pacing, praying, and sitting worrying.

     Toward the end of one of those days (which are kind of muddled in my head now), I sat down to write for a minute. I just closed my eyes and took a moment to think. What did I want? What was my hope during all this? I thought for a minute, and I wrote one simple sentence, "I long for peace."

     As your world rocks around you, when life cuts like a knife and you feel the pain more keenly than any physical pain you've ever felt, I beg you, hold on! There is peace, against all odds, against what you think and what your mind tells you, there is a peace. When the knife twists and you look back and wonder how you got where you are and why you chose to fight, don't give up!

     "Come unto me all ye who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly at heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Rest. I don't think about these verses too much at this season of life, because as a young guy, part of my excitement at the coming life ahead is the conflicts and the situations that lie ahead. There feels like there is purpose in it.

     But there's also pain in it. There's exhaustion, there's fear, there's stress, and those are the times I look at Jesus and cry out, "Where is your rest? Where is this rest you promised?" In the middle of the pain, it's hard to feel the rest.

     People, listen to me! Whether you feel it or not, Jesus promises peace. He promises rest in Him... peace in the middle of a battle, and rest in the middle of raging seas. That rest and that peace doesn't mean a touchy, constantly hugged feeling or an ethereal, flying feeling. No, here is the voice of experience saying that you can be loved relentlessly and still feel the knife twist.

     The joy in Christ that I know exists is a knowledge, not necessarily a feeling. The unchangeable truth is that when your world is falling apart, a sovereign God is holding you up, whether you feel that or not. That's the pivotal part. You won't always feel it. Some days, the pain out weighs every other feeling... but the truth doesn't change! The truth remains through all of it, that Christ's love is completely relentless, never ending, never changing, never quitting, never tiring.

     "Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?... But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, not any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

    "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

    "...All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth... lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

Another Good Song

The Same Yesterday, Today, and...

     It's 12:20 in the morning, my mind is still processing things from today, and the debate on the resurrection that I'm listening to isn't totally tuning out the other thoughts floating through my brain (yes, listening to a debate is relaxing to me. I'm weird...). It's been a rough couple of days, a couple days I've hardly eaten, hardly slept, stressed myself into (comparatively) mild insanity and I'm getting sick.

     So what do you do during a week like this? We all know the weeks, the weeks when you look at the mistakes you've made and you can't change anything now, but you can feel the cold, hard pain staring you in the face? The weeks where you don't see the truth of who God is... or who you are in Him? The weeks where you wonder what precisely God's planning?

     I don't have many words tonight. I'm tired, but my mind doesn't want to sleep. When all you see is darkness and when our feelings tell us one thing, the thing we have to do, against all odds and against our flesh, we must cleave to the truth! And what is the truth?

     God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. What does that mean in simple English? In a simple sentence, God is faithful. Yesterday, as in the past... today, as in the future... forever, all eternity... God never changes. Jesus Christ remains the same, my Father, my Lover, my Lord. And His character remains the same.

     Jesus loves me... yesterday, today, and forever.
     Jesus justified me, made me right with Him... yesterday, today, and forever.
    God has forgiven me... yesterday, today, and forever.
     I am covered in the grace of God...yesterday, today, and forever.
     I have been made new in Christ, again, yes, again... yesterday, today, and forever.
     I am an accepted child of God... yesterday, today, and forever.
     I am no longer a slave... yesterday, today, and forever.
     I am wholly free in Jesus Christ... yesterday, today, and forever.
     The love of my Savior destroys my fear... yesterday, today, and forever.
     There is no dirt or impurity left to me... yesterday, today, and forever.
     There is no iota of disgust on the face of Jesus when He looks at me... yesterday, today, and forever.  
     There is no reservation in the love of my Father... yesterday, today, and forever.

     I am His... yesterday, today, and forever. Not grudgingly His, but delightedly His. He is my Father, my Abba, the One who knows my heart and sees me as His child and His love. I am His... yesterday, today, and forever.

Good Song

His Grace is Always Sufficient

    When life is hard...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

    When a friend is in pain...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

     When you don't understand...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

     When things don't make sense...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

     When you don't feel His love...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

     When you don't know how long the storm lasts...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

     When the struggle is hard...
           ...his grace is sufficient. 

     When faith feels impossible...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

     When the future is uncertain...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

      In everything this world, the devil, or all hell can bring about...
           ...his grace is sufficient.

      His grace is always sufficient. 

I am Not Ashamed

    I struggle with my own critical mindedness. In many ways, it's a blessing. I can find fallacies rather quickly, I have learned to think things through quickly and critically, and I've learned to appreciate the truth greatly. I am truly grateful to God that He gave me that part of my personality. However, it comes with certain negative side effects too. My critical mindedness puts me at odds with the vast majority of people I know because as is common when two people think through an issue: I may arrive at a separate conclusion. When the person I arrive at a separate conclusion from is an authority figure or adult in my life, friction develops, and I wind up causing myself a lot of stress because I do question nearly everything (I'm working on eliminating the "nearly" from that sentence).

     The largest issue I see around me that throws me into fits (figuratively speaking, at least I hope...) is that of works vs grace in regard to our status with God. Over and over again, after a hard day or a particular trying incident, I want to pull back and shut up. Other times, I've prayed and in frustration, questioned God as to why He gave me the tendencies He has that put me in opposition against other people I know. The personality I have makes life in many ways harder than it could be if I were not so dead set on questioning constantly.

     But a verse I read tonight from Romans 1 really hit me. "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile." No eloquent thoughts, I'm afraid, but Paul is pretty straight up.

     The gospel he preached was extremely unpopular in his day, particular among the people he had been well-respected by, the Pharisees and his own family. Knowing that his own father was a Pharisees and his mentor was Gamaliel, when Paul stubbornly held fast to the gospel, he did so in direct contradiction to his own family, his upbringing, his nation, his former friends, and his mentor. Following the gospel, holding true, and determining to publicize the truth of who Jesus was at all costs did indeed cost him everything.

      But he tells us why here. The gospel is worth fighting for! The truth of who God is and what He says is a fight worth having... and it's a fight we shouldn't be ashamed of. Even when it's hard or it means taking a different stance than an authority figure or a friend you've known a long time, the gospel is truth worth standing for.

     I wonder... I don't do this as the application after a sermon time. I truly wonder... am I unashamed of the gospel of Christ? Am I unashamed to stand up and proclaim to the world that I am, in fact, a follower of Christ? Am I unashamed to stand up and identify before other Christians with the truth of what the gospel is and who Christ is, maybe when that means popular dismissal?

     There are days I seriously do wish I had a different personality, one that didn't so furiously pursue questions or demand answers. But at the end of the day, I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, not before the world or my Christian peers. The truth is worth standing up for, unashamedly.

Link

    I don't typically post a single link and leave it at that, but tonight... this was a very thought-provoking article for those of you who grew up, like me, in conservative, evangelical (particularly homeschooler) circles. I'm interested in opinions too, so I want some comments. Yes, people, read it, think it through, and leave some thoughts!

http://www.equip.org/article/christian-families-on-the-edge/

The Bible is about...?

     I still remember. It was pouring down rain in Malawi, and with the roads washed out and without power, four young men interested in the ministry sat down with two older pastors with nearly 100 years of experience in the ministry between them to listen to these men's wisdom. I'll never forget the first thing Dr. Gillespe addressed as he talked to us young guys about the ministry.

     His first point was one that the remainder of the afternoon hinged on. He was giving us tips on reading, studying, and exegeting the Bible for the purpose of preaching, and he started off by giving us a very wide concept that was and remains striking to me. That's what I want to talk about here.

     Before I go any further, I just want to ask a simple question. What is the Bible all about? There are a lot of answers for what the Bible is. A revelation of God's will for His creation. A practical manual for living. A wealth of information and wisdom. We could give a lot of answers that have at least an element of truth in them.

     But Dr. Gillespe's statement was clear. "The Bible is a book about God." Short, simple, and clear, but oh what a a world of difference this little concept could make to our evangelical churches, sermons, quiet times, Sunday schools, VBS's, and just home devotions.

      Does the Bible contain knowledge about science, history, and medicine? Does it contain very practical, moral truths for every day life? Does it contain instructional wisdom and information for life? Absolutely! But go to a modern evangelical church today and look at the sermons. "Building better marriages". "Wise spending". "Practical insight for home management".

     But the sad, glaring truth is that I don't need God or the Bible to build a good marriage, manage my money wisely, or use practical common sense in home management; and a step further than that, I don't need God to apply wisdom, even Biblical wisdom to my marriage, my finances, or my home. I am perfectly capable of doing that without the Bible and certainly without God. Muslims, Mormons, cultists, agnostics, and atheists do it all the time.

     The problem with this thinking is that the Bible was never intended to be a practical guide to life. The results of the Bible's teaching can lead us toward good money management, a happy marriage, or a good home life, but that is not the point of the Bible. Reading the Bible as a practical guide to life, while it may lead to a morally upright life, leaves us empty and as good moralistic people, not believers in Jesus Christ. Reading the Bible for practical guidance for life builds legalistic mindsets that focus on our behavior patterns rather than on Jesus Christ.

     If I read the Bible as an instruction book for life, it is about do's and don't's, rules and guidelines, yes and no's. You can find that in the Koran, the Book of Mormon, any number of motivational books, even ancient philosophies. The Bible is not alone in its practical wisdom. It is alone in its unique claims about the character of God. The Bible, though it contains them, is not about practical guidelines. It's about God.

     If I read the Bible as the revelation of God, a book describing God, detailing the character of God, explaining God, revealing God, then the emphasis changes. Rules direct my thinking to me, what I should do, what I should think. Practical guidelines without spiritual or logical grounding lead me to legalism. My starting point in studying the Scriptures must be that the passage I'm reading points me to Christ in some way, shape, or form. In some way, shape, or form, it reveals Him, His character, and His ways, for His ultimate greatness, not mine. In understanding Him more AND falling deeper and deeper into love with Him, I am conformed to his likeness.

     As you read the Bible, keep it constantly in mind that this is a book about God, not about humans. It is a book to reveal His character, His attributes, and His desires for mankind to His greater glory. In studying the central character of the Bible, we realize more and more of the practical and applicable parts of the Bible... but we realize them through the lens of the God I serve rather than the lens of what I need to do to do to please God. It's about the relationship, not the laws. The obedience naturally follows the love; love doesn't necessarily follow the obedience.

Question Authority

    That phrase raised some eyebrows, didn't it? Many of us in conservative circles were told that that was not true. Authorities know more than we do, and because of that, we obey them and we do not rebel by questioning. Yes, I was told that several times. To say anything other than agreement was to rebel.

     Yesterday at a taekwondo tournament I was both a judge and a competitor at, one of the guy's I've coached mom came up to me and asked me a couple questions about procedure and what some of the people running the tournament were thinking when they planned to do this particular thing or bracket these people in this way. I told her that honestly, we judges don't know what's going on, we're just better at pretending we do. I was obviously joking, because in that case I did know what's going on, but there's an element of truth in what I said.

      Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to be an adult so you could do whatever you wanted? Or even as a teen you couldn't wait til you were older so you would beat that temptation or defeat that struggle? Remember how disappointing it was when you looked up and realized that that's not how it worked? Maybe you became an adult, maybe something else opened your eyes, but you realized that, "Hey, I'm an adult, and I'm still really, really confused."

     We've heard the talks, whether they about church authorities or parents or particular church speakers or a courtship girl's dad. We've heard them talked about as if they're miniature gods sometimes, with special insight from heaven and greater wealths of knowledge. I've gotten my share of lectures of even asking questions of those in authority when they make a statement.

     Seeing a bumper sticker that said, "Question authority" got me thinking earlier this week. Is that a sentiment that I as a Christian young man should consider good, because it certainly describes my life. I have been told I question everything, and I honestly can't argue with that synopsis. I truly do question everything, and I intend to continue doing so.

     One particular passage stuck out to me in thinking this over. Acts 17:11 says, "Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so." 

     It's a very interesting verse. One message is clear from this: the Bereans were concerned about truth. They were very eager to hear this new teaching from Paul; literally excited to hear this truth. But, they didn't blindly accept something coming from the formerly respected son of a Pharisee and student of Gamaliel or the present day apostle. They immediately took the message of this respected speaker and turned back to Scripture to check about what he said, and since Luke knew about it to write, it apparently was no secret. It wasn't hidden that they were double checking what Paul said.

     Paul's response to that is maybe not what we would expect from a respected church leader based on how I've been addressed after asking questions and so on in my circles. He calls them "noble-minded" for doing this. Here they are being questioning of him and he's pleased about it!

     True leadership doesn't mind questions, even hard questions, most of the time even challenging questions. Blind followers are for cults, not Christianity. So as believers, we should be actively pursuing what the apostle Paul commended in the Berean church; that is, actively holding ourselves and our authorities to the Word of God, not blindly swallowing what they tell us. We are accountable for our beliefs, and blindly believing our church authorities, our parents, or our friends is, to state bluntly, inexcusable.

     Question authority. That's not to say defy it or rebel against it (though questioning it will sometimes lead us to do those things if necessary). But asking questions in pursuit of truth is NEVER wrong, particularly if we look for those answers from the Bible. Never be bullied into silence or complacency.

     

Crawl

    I remember the times my Christian walk was like a jog, a run, or a full-on sprint. Times I grew by leaps and bounds, times I had questions, ideas, and theories daily. I remember those times like times of spring and summer, like sunlight. I remember them vividly, individual places I was when I thought of this idea that altered my life or that theory that shaped my thinking or what not.

     Other times, my life truly is a walk. It's a steady, progressing walk, not quick, not remarkably, but constant and moving. I'm not sitting still, I am following Christ and I'm learning... but other stuff gets in the way and it's hard to go on sometimes.

     But then, there's the times where even a day at a time, it's a struggle. No, the struggle isn't to wrestle with deep philosophies and theological concepts. The struggle is to just put one foot in front of the other and trust in the goodness of God. Some days, the stepping is just too hard. Tonight, I can't even step. All I can do is crawl.

     I remember running through the sunlight of new ideas and new theories of my faith... and now I'm crawling through the dark and the mist of the grittiness of my faith when it meets the real circumstances of life. When the theories cease to interest and the trust ceases to amaze, and it's all we can do to slide forward another inch without collapsing and screaming at God, "Why?!"

     Come to think of it, maybe collapsing and screaming "why?!" is part of the journey. Maybe it's not the exception... maybe it's not the time when I rally don't grow. Maybe, contrary to my first thoughts, just maybe, this is where God grows me the most. Because here, in the dark, without the sun and without the light, is where I learn the hardest concept in Christianity: blind faith.

     There's faith and then there's blind faith. Maybe we all use a measure of faith to believe anything we do about anything we didn't personally witness, whether it be evolution or creation, historical data, or archeological finds. But there's times when the evidence and the feelings of my heart scream in my face that God doesn't know, He doesn't understand, He doesn't care... and that is when faith ceases to be enough, and we're forced into the arms of blind faith.

     I can't trust God when I'm trudging forward in the mud, a step, a slide at a time, based on evidence and theories. This isn't a time for jauntily debating with a friend the complexities of God's sovereignty or the meaning and sufficiency of the atonement (though those times do exist). This is the time for me to cling with blind faith to Christ as I crawl along the Christian life.

     Heaven will be full of saints with a worn robes in the front from the time spent in the dark, prostrate on the ground, done, with just enough strength to take that next push forward. Heaven will be full of the scarred, the beaten down, the bruised, the survivors... the ones who didn't jog their way to heaven or coolly whistle their journey toward Christ. It's full of the sinners and the failures and the exhausted and the ones who struggle to take one. more. step.

     "After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cried with a loud voice, saying, 'Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.' Then one of the elders answered, saying to me, 'These who are clothed in white robes, who are they, and where have they come from?' I said to him, 'My lord, you know.' And he said to me, 'These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."

     We have been washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb. That is who we are. Yeah, those of us who struggle. The failures? The ones who get bested sometimes, who get lonely, who feel loss? Those of us who sin? Those of us who fall short? Us?

     Yes, us. We are the they who are clothed in white robes, who have washed our robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb! And I want to raise my voice to a victory shout when I say that, because we have no washed them to a dinghy gray or a creamy ivory, almost clean, but not quite. No, have washed them white! Pure. Clean. Perfect. New. Justified. Spotless.

     Sometimes the journey is a crawl. We don't have the strength to run or jog or even walk. But we serve a God who sees us and makes us pure, clean, and perfect before Him, even in our journey. It's not too long or too hard. It's not too much. Even in the darkness, the hard times, He is there... and He is enough. He is always enough.

Why Did Jesus Come to Die?

     As a kid, I remember asking my dad why God had to come to die in order to take the punishment for our sins when He wrote the rules for what the punishment for sin was going to be. His response was that that was just how God did it (probably in part because I was too young to understand any more complex answer), but then, as now, "just because" is an answer I hate. I want a reason for why a rule is in place or a belief is taught. In this case, I wasn't satisfied with God wrote the rules that way "just because".

     Think about it for a moment if you never have. Why did Jesus come to die? Well, to take the punishment for our sin and to make us righteous. But why did He have to die that way in order to do that? Because the Bible says only with the shedding of blood is there forgiveness of sins (Heb. 9:21). Generally, that is where the conversation stops, even in church circles. But that was never enough for me. Because quite literally, God wrote the rules. If God had said it took four yellow petunias offered while standing on your head in Denver on April 5 to forgive sins, He could have. So because God wrote the rules, there should be one more why in our line of questioning: why did God make it that way?

     I remember asking my dad that, and again, the answer was "He just did", which was probably as much as my young intellect could handle at the time. But I think it's a valid question. Why did God write the rules that way? The way it's taught far too often in our churches and our VBS's, God is the cosmic victim of His own system. Before you start taking issue with that, think of how often you've heard it said this way.

    "Adam and Eve sinned, so they had to die, because sin brings death. (Again, did none of us ever wonder why God designed the world in such a way that sin would enter it and thus bring death when he could have left the tree of the knowledge of good and evil out of the garden and thus left the world without it?) So in order for them to become right with Him, God had to send someone perfect (again, God's rule) to die (also God's rule). The only perfect one was Jesus, so Jesus came to die for us..."

     But do you see what we just did? God just became the victim of His own rule system. God builds a system, man screws it up, and because God loves us so much, He becomes the victim of the system in order to save us. Poor God. The rules were against Him, so He had to find a loophole in order to save us.

    That idea (and thus what is far too commonly taught) is utterly nonsensical in that it leaves out God's complete omniscience, to say nothing of His sovereignty. If God in distant time past knew Adam and Eve would sin, why did He make the rules so hard? Why did He draw such a rigorously high standard someone had to fulfill? Why did it have to be blood and death? Could it be like... saliva? Or, I don't know, your right pinkie finger? He wrote the rules, so why make it so chillingly agonizing?

     If you've never thought about this before, take a second before reading further and think about it. God wrote the rules that drove Him to the cross. He is the One who instituted that blood had to be shed. This wasn't a cosmic rule somewhere that God had to conform to; God came up with the rules, rules that would ultimately result in a tortuous death of His Son, and He knew it when He wrote them. Why? Think of your answer in your head, because I could only think of one.

     He did so, in my opinion and if you have an alternate one, please leave a comment and let me know, in order to make plain, obvious, and irrefutable the vastness of His love for His creation. He could have forgiven our sins with a word, right? He's all-powerful! But no, He didn't. He chose to become the greatest, most brutal picture ever. He chose to personify love through His own bloody, gruesome substitution... that He designed from before time.

     Remember when Revelation says that the One who opens the scroll is a "Lamb as though He had been slain"? Jesus is identified as "the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world" in 1 Pet. 1:20. So the death of Jesus Christ is seen and even considered accomplished before the creation of the world. Clearly, Jesus' death is not God's secondary plan in response to man's screwing up his initial Plan A. The death of Jesus was in fact God's initial plan, the culmination of the system He brought into being.

     Rather than forgive us through words or our own deeds or anything else, God chose to forgive us through His own sacrifice and in so doing, show us beyond a shadow of a doubt His enormous, individual love for His creation. This was not His secondary plan or his reaction to mankind's failure, but His original plan from the beginning of time. He would create a race who would become hopelessly separated from Himself... in order to give Himself as the greatest sacrifice and greatest symbol of love the world has ever seen or will ever see.

     When you look at the cross, this is the culmination of eternity past. It's not a knee-jerk reaction to mankind's failure. It was the plan of God to demonstrate undeniable love by saving us through the most brutal, agonizing means possible, showing just how deep and abiding His desire for us was, and glorifying Himself through that. When you see the cross, it's not just ordinary love. It is quite literally the greatest love the world has or ever will see. And if we are partakers in that cross, then we are beneficiaries of that love.

Knocked Down

     I remember it well. It had all happened so fast... the guy I was competing against had come over the top of my kick and caught me with a hard right hook to the nose that sent me to the mat. I'm a light fighter, so knocking me down isn't generally too hard. But this time, my world went black for a moment before I hit the ground, and I could already feel the blood welling up in my nostrils.

     I remember somebody trying to help me up and knocking his hand away cause I could already feel the blood coming from my nose. It was bleeding, a lot. My head hurt, and I already knew I was losing the fight. But I still remember the referee walking over leaning over me and saying those words, "Do you want to continue?" I remember my coach asking how much time was left on the clock. And I still remember what went through my mind and what came out of my mouth.

     My mind thought, "There's no way you can win this fight. This guy is beating you every which way you can turn. His legs are longer, he's kicking harder, he's kicking higher, he's faster... no way." My mouth, very rebelliously, said, "Heck, yeah." I don't use that word often, but it did kinda slip out in the adrenaline high of the moment.

    

    In the Bible, we meet a great warlord named David. We meet this ancient warrior as a teenager, a sheepherder. Yet even as a sheepherder, we see the seeds of his raw courage and great strength. When a lion steals a lamb, this teenage David does not run for his father's servants. He runs after the lion and kills it personally. When a bear steals a lamb, David does not carry the story home so his dad can deal with it. He personally chases the bear down and kills it. This is a teenager I wouldn't want to mess with.

     Just a few short years later, we meet still teenage David standing in a valley, facing a 9 foot tall giant of a man... and David does precisely what we'd expect of a lion-slaying, bear-bashing warrior: he knocks the giant down and cuts his head off with his own sword. Seriously, it's hard to get any more epic than killing the giant with his own sword and then holding up his bloodied head for your and his army to see. It's impossible not to look pretty downright scary in that pose.

     We see the warrior mature into a trusted officer until we hear women surrounded the road that he travels on the way back from his victories, singing, "Saul has slain his thousands, but David his ten thousands." I think I've made my point. David is a tough guy, a strong, able warrior, a soldier who literally has thousands of warriors who have died at his hands. But I'm not done describing him yet.

     This David is set up by his prospective father-in-law, baiting David with his love for Saul's daughter, Michal (hmm, none of us have ever heard of over-zealous fathers now, have we? :), tempting him out to do battle in order to see him killed. David beats the odds, killing twice the number of Philistines necessary for him to win his lady-love. This dude is... well, tough. One more step... when David is finally chased out of the capital, he soon gathers a group of rough criminals, men on the run for their lives. These men rally around David and make him their leader. Picture a gang... when was the last time you saw a gang of men choose a scholarly looking dude with glasses and thick books as their leader?

      David was the toughest of the tough. He was a bloody man, a warrior who killed thousands of men. A fearsome warlord, a hard leader, at times a tyrant, a murderer, a rough man.

     "I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears, I drench my couch with weeping." Yes, this was the same guy. The same man who walked into a valley against a raging giant with just a leather sling and mocks him, taunting him before the world, is the same man who writes that he can literally wring water from his bed at night from the sorrow and darkness of his heart.

     If you ever thought it was a sign of weakness to feel darkness, despair, or weakness, I hope that thought just got blown out of the water. It's a sign of humanity that even the strongest, boldest men can experience. The pain is real. The pain is palpable. And that's okay. We get knocked down. We find solace in the darkness; or more frequently, we find more loneliness there. We know the smell of the mat and the feel of blood, our blood. We know the crush of defeat sometimes.

     I won the fight that day. It was my glove that was raised at the end of that match. My face and uniform were still bloodsplattered, I was sore, I was weak, but I won. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't all fun. It was pain and fear and blood and sweat.

     Something, something gets us through those dark times. Something gets us back off the mat. Something makes us look up at life beating us bloody and say, "Heck, yeah, I'm getting back up." Something makes us stand back up, knowing we'll get hit again and again, knowing we'll get knocked down again.

     "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." You remember camping as a kid, particularly without a tent? Every noise, every rustling leaf, every shadow, every movement is a bear a pack of wolves, or a sasquatch. Or possibly an ax murderer. But worse... the night lasts forever. It is a scientifically proven fact that nights spent outside in the woods without a tent last an average of 12 hours longer than a night inside a house.

     The night lasts forever! Every noise, ever sound in the wakeful silence jerks our sleepless open again. It never ends. But morning! You remember that first ray of dawn that topped the hills or cut through the trees around you? You remember how eagerly you peered at it, checking and doublechecking to see if you were seeing the real thing?

     And you remember how the pack of wolves turned into a pair of chipmunks, and the fearsome sasquatch became a raccoon passing through camp? When the night is over, the light dawns with all its awe and splendor, giving us the warmth, the light, the hope that we need to keep going, to feel safety, to know hope.

     There will be sadness. But there will be a morning! There will be a shout, a sound of victory, of hope, of joy! If we endure the darkness and the night, the morning is there! If we pull ourselves off the mat, if we wipe the blood on our sleeves and tighten our gloves and reset our mouthguards, we can make it. We can make it through the night... and the morning waits.

     There will be a morning. There will be a morning. Oh, no doubt, the night is dark and foreboding. There is sorrow there, none will argue. But when the night is over, the victory of the light and the sun is clearly seen, flooding our lives with hope and strength to continue on. Hold on for the morning, friend. Get back up, stay strong, and hold on for the morning!

Reflecting

    All my life, I have had, consciously or not, the notion locked in my brain that God's will is this isolated path, His best for us, that we can only discover through prayer and concentrated searching. This was not something I remember my parents teaching, but more of a recurring theme I heard spoken of and referenced as a given fact in my circles and the speaker's I commonly listened to growing up.

     Several months back, my brother described the opinion brought out in the book Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. I have not read the book, so I am not trying to speak for DeYoung, but from what my brother described, I was intrigued. The path he started me down has really changed how I see God's will and leading in my Christian life and in my life ahead.

     For years, I had considered my future something God had planned how He wanted, and it was my responsibility to find that path or else miss "God's best" (if you grew up in the same conservative circles I did, you'll recognize that phrase) for my life, settling for the "good". So I had sweated and prayed and concentrated and thought about who I would marry and what I would do for work with more than a little fear.

     What if I got it wrong? What if I married a girl who was not God's best for me? How could I know what the best was? What if I went into missions when God wanted me to be a pastor or a counselor? Questions like these literally drove any kind of peace of mind far away when I would consider the future, because the future was not hopeful. It was scary! There was one right way and a hundred wrong ways, and God wouldn't tell you what way was right! He would lead you through subtle signs and small indications... always very vaguely described by those who had already passed this point when they tried to encourage you.

     But what I had never bothered to do was examine Scriptural precedent for this kind of view of God's will. Honestly, I'm a little ashamed with myself for not having done this years ago instead of waiting until I was nearly graduated from high school and on to college before doing this! Where in the Bible was this notion of God's will I'd heard mentioned all these years?

     Prov. 3:5-6 was always hailed as the passage of Scripture that outlined this kind of thinking, and at first glance, they did seem to say that, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Now, in the KJV where I memorized this passage, v. 6 is rendered, "He shall direct thy paths." Subtle word difference, but a major difference in application. In the one, you are walking down a path and as you yield to the Lord's wisdom and bring yourself into subjection to Him, He makes your way clear. In the second, He is pointing to a particular path to go down, seemingly.

     But honestly, this passage was not such an open and shut statement as I had thought. V. 7 adds some wisdom we rarely touched on, "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil." This verse seems to further interpret v. 5-6, showing us what it looks like to trust in the Lord and to not lean on our own understanding; namely, walk humbly, recognizing our own ideas, logic, and reasoning should be in subjection to God's Word, fear the Lord and place ourselves under Him, and reject evil. Those are the three applicable ways to live out v. 5-6. this is how you demonstrate trusting in the Lord with all your heart.

    Honestly, the way I had interpreted this passage before made no sense. Did I really believe Solomon was telling us to forget logic and through reason to the wind? Secondly, if we truly are to disregard our own thoughts and minds and instead obey this mysterious will of God that He reveals when we ask Him and ignore our own reason, why are we only applying this on major areas, such as college, career, or spouse choices? Why aren't we doing this when we order lunch at a restaurant or select our clothing for the day?

      I can tell you why I was only doing it in the big things. Because the way I had trained myself to see God's will, God had decided on the best for me, one particular spouse, one particular job, and everything else was less than best. But I had not taken that all the way to its logical conclusion because if I had, it would have been utter foolishness. Surely God gave us minds, logic, and reasoning powers for a reason! Surely He didn't intend for me to make my clothing choices for the day after 30 minutes of prayer for guidance!

      I believe the Bible sets forth a very different story of God's will; namely, that God is a very big and extremely sovereign God who is not limited to good, better, and best. As we go through the Bible, instances are extremely rare of Bible heroes coming to God and asking Him to point them a route before they act. Instead, they ask for wisdom (refer back to Prov. 3:5-7 where it says to trust God rather than our own wisdom) from God to supplement their own and then make a reasoned choice as to what they believe is best.

     Before I have people thinking to themselves that I am saying we should just make major life decisions with no prayer or meditation, I would like to clear this up. I believe prayer is excellent and necessary before this major decisions. But God never intended us to wait on Him to reveal His will before we act. Biblically, since the days of Urim and Thummim when God's will was clearly shown by division of lots, I cannot think of a single case in which God's will was relied on to be shown, particularly not in the NT since the arrival of the Holy Spirit. Acts 1 shows the dealing of lots to select a replacement apostle, but since then (and the anointing of the Holy Spirit in chapter 2), the will of God being revealed clearly to a human seems to be rare and supernatural.

     For example, Philip's being led away into the wilderness is recorded as a rare and spectacular event, actually miraculous. According to my former worldview, this was the norm. God was expected to reveal my life decisions by leading, something the NT seems to treat as a miraculous occurrence. Another example would be when Paul is planning to proceed to Asia Minor, and God is specifically said to have withstood him and instead sent him a dream to commission him to Macedonia instead.

     These two examples of revelation of God's will are spectacular, not the norm. They are specifically named and detailed while we know now details about how Paul chose his other missionary routes for a specific reason: namely, this was uncommon. It was worth writing down because it was out of the ordinary! Apparently, Philip was much more used to going about his ordinary business than he was to be sovereignly directed by God to go this way or that. It was unusual enough to be worth noting.

     Paul going into Macedonia... this is the only occasion we see where Paul's route is influenced by God. No other time is spoken of, implying that this was the great exception to the general rule. Paul, someone very in tune with God's desires for him, was simply making plans as usual for leaving Troas and going on to another city, until God actively stepped in and miraculously stopped him. However you see this, it seems to imply that God's will is something that is (while sovereignly decreed in heaven) left open for us on earth; that is to say, there is no one best or one route which we must follow to be in God's will.

     As long as we are walking in obedience to His Word, we are in God's will. One of my favorite examples of this is Nehemiah. The book of Nehemiah is scattered with prayers, quick, desperate cries for help or wisdom... but never asking for God to reveal His will. Nehemiah simply asks for God to give Nehemiah His compassion or to remember him so Nehemiah can make the wisest, most informed choice he can. Nehemiah prays while making educated, logical decisions in leadership, without any prayers for God to point him in a direction or requests for guidance.

     So... what does all this mean? Basically, God has given us desires, interests, passions, and gifts. We use the logic He has give us and the wisdom we request from Him to make a wise, educated decision for a life partner, career, or church. He may close doors, He may, like in Paul's case, send undeniable leading a different direction. But our default should be to choose our courses of action based off what God has already given us, not off subjective leading that we sweat over for years.

     In a practical sense, I've struggled with the idea of how to discern who you are to marry or what you are to do or where to go to college and how to read God's mind on such things. That pursuit is over as of today (actually yesterday when I finally sat down and articulated all this to myself). I'm going to use the principles in God's Word and the logic and the transformed mind He has given me to choose a life partner, life's work that aligns with the gifts and passions He created me with, and a college that fits my beliefs and my desire for the future.

      God gave us gifts and passions as guiding lights toward areas that glorify Him and fulfill us. Those are ways of discerning routes toward His service. He doesn't have this one path and twenty dummy ones set up just to challenge us and throw us off the scent. He's not playing games. He's given us wisdom and skills to serve Him more ably! His will isn't found in dreams or crystal balls. As we conform our lives to Him, we naturally follow after where He would have us to go.